Two Dads Talking

Trailer - Two Dads Talking Podcast

This is NOT a parenting podcast. At least, it's not a how-to.  
If you're looking for a podcast on how to parent, on how to be a perfect father and set the gold standard for father of the year, then this is not the cast for you. 
We're here for stories of "Dadding" gone wrong, to share life experiences so you can learn what NOT to do, and to share opinions on just about everything under the sun.  This is a podcast for being real, making dad jokes, and supporting other dads in a world that seems to have forgotten we're parents too. 
If you're into embarrassing parenting stories, punny jokes, arguments about how (not) to eat cheeseburgers, conspiracy theories, sports talk, ankle-breaking ass slaps and other less-than-serious topics to help pass the time, then this is the podcast for you. 
We're here to Go Dad Go!

Fight Night! Louis vs. McDonald's, Tom vs. Angry Beaver

New money-making hack: leave your children at a McDonald's while you go do...something. Follow us for more tips! While you wait to cash in, learn yourself about dad fails, angry non-euphemism beavers, dog attacks, and crazy facts. Also, don't order the hotcakes. Seriously, don't.
 
Join the 2DT Patreon and put a little happy in your meal.
 
Links you can Judo Chop! Hiya!
Man Leaves Kids at McDonald's Updates
Fatal Dog Attacks Infographic
X - Stats that Sound Fake but are True
 
Check out our new Linktree! Would you like fries with that?

Dad Fail: If you're going to kill someone, do it right

Who is Cain Velasquez, why did he open fire into a pickup truck before chasing it for eleven miles, and why are we sort of happy he only received a five-year prison sentence with time served? We're also talking a little about Vore, mental health professionals identifying as turtles, and possibly the greatest traffic stop interaction of all time.
 
Join the 2DT Patreon for your pet cat.
 
No hamsters were harmed in the making of these links:
Cain Velasquez Summary
Cats Can't Legally Drive
Turtle Power!
Cannibalism Fantasies
 
Check out our new Linktree! Eat it up (instead of someone else)!

Engineers Do It Hard

Where else can you find a podcast that starts with sh*t and ends up talking about engineers and lawnmower purchases...and call centers...and pants turtles? Also, if you've ever wanted to feel sad for camels, Tom has you covered this week.
 
Join the 2DT Patreon and (maybe) save a camel!
 
No hamsters were harmed in the making of these links:
Call Center Employee of the Month
The Legendary TSA Pants Turtle
 
Check out the new Linktree! It's all that and a bag of chips!

Dads and Taxes (and Baseball?)

Who knew taxes could be so fun? Just kidding, they still aren't. But they are weird when they apply (or don't) to baseballs, body parts, and breast implants. Also, Doug actually has a good idea for reforming property taxes? Shoutouts to Aaron Judge, Jude Law, quantum computing....and our apologies to Forest Whitaker. We love you.
 
Join the 2DT Patreon and write it off as an emotional expense!
 
These links are taxing....
When the IRS Knocks at Your Door - Rudy Ayoub
How Much is the Baseball Worth?
The IRS Had Reasonable Take, Once Upon a Time?
Ohio's Organic Tax Laws
Repo Men (Sorry, Forest)
 
We still have our fancy new Linktree! <Insert dad joke about roots.>

Dad Fails, Navajo Legends, Poker, and Putin on a Horse!

Okay, maybe that last one is just a fun reference at the end. But this is in fact an episode with a little bit of everything. So kick back, relax, and learn more from our dad fails. Oh, and if you get a chance to come back to life, don't touch the stuffies!
 
Buy us a cup of coffee! Join the 2DT Patreon!
 
The BETRAYAL is real in the links this week:
Ghosteas Podcast on Spotify
Yee Naaldlooshii Legend
Now that we know these stock photos exist, you must also know.
 
Check out our fancy new Linktree! You'll be going places.

Actual Dad Advice, Followed by Crappy Stories from Philly

What do half-eaten sandwiches, chasing waterfalls, HIV, and nightclub promotions all have in common? That's right - Philadelphia train station bathrooms (how did you know?). As if that isn't boring enough, add in potential pregnancy updates, poker, and the most eclectic Uber drivers you'll find. When you rate us, don't forget 5 stars!
 
If you don't join the 2DT Patreon Tom will buy clothes for you.
 
The BETRAYAL is real in the links this week:
Bonnie Blue is a Liar!
So is Lily Phillips!
 
You know what isn't a lie? How cool you would look in our merch!
You know what else doesn't lie? My hips. Anyway, here's our website.
Send your completed Dad Homework to 2DTPod@gmail.com.

The (Silk) Road Less Traveled

Ross Ulbricht (aka The Dread Pirate Roberts), the notorious mastermind behind the most infamous dark web marketplace, was pardoned by Trump. As usual, Tom and Doug have thoughts. What we didn't have (because we are dum-dums and forgot) was dad jokes, so let us make it up to you: 
What do you call it when a blind person goes on the internet?The Dark Web
 
Sorry for the recent technical issues with getting new episodes out. Let the extra content on the 2DT Patreon soothe you.
 
Take These Links and Go Fluff Yourself:
Ross Ulbricht Pardoned
Great Timesuck covering this: 35 - Murder, Drugs, Porn, and Pirates: Tales From the Dark Web35
 
Don't forget your merch on the way out!
This is a link to our website!
This is a link to our email! 2DTPod@gmail.com
 
P.S. Did you know Tom and Doug used to be in a band called the Dark Web? They eventually quit because they were always on Tor.

Consequences Add Value to Things (Bonnie Blue vs. Lily Phillips)

We're going all in talking about the recent escapades of Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips. We go deep into who did it better, how integral fluffing is, and add a little bit of psychoanalysis to make Freud proud.
 
We're bound to do another gift card giveaway, but you have to join the 2DT Patreon to have a chance!
 
Take These Links and Go Fluff Yourself:
Bonnie Blue Claims World Record
Lily Phillips Reflects in Documentary
 
We have a merch store. For realsies.
You can find the merch store and more on our realsies website!
How many men should be next? All answers welcome: 2DTPod@gmail.com

The Big 5-0!

Welcome to Jeopardy! Tom quizzes Doug on a whole host of the things we've discussed on the cast so far. And let's just say, we've covered a lot of (sometimes very weird) ground. Let us know what you want to see in the next 50 episodes! Go Dad Go!
 
Join the 2DT Patreon to get a shot at our next gift card giveaway!
 
Quality Links for You Found Here:
Why Chick-Fil-A Employees Always Say 'My Pleasure'
SNL - Celebrity Jeopardy
 
Don't forget some merch on your way out!
Find all episodes on our website!
Let us know what you want to hear about on the next 50: 2DTPod@gmail.com